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A Guide to Effective Scientific Communication
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Phrase Translation
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It has long been known --> I haven't bothered to look up the reference
It is believed --> I think
It is generally believed --> A couple of other guys think so too
It is not unreasonable to --> If you believe this, you'll believe
assume anything
Of great theoretical --> I find it kind of interesting
importance
Of great practical importance --> I can get some mileage out of it
Typical results are shown --> The best results are shown
3 samples were chosen for --> The others didn't make sense, so
further study we ignored them
The 4 hour sample was not --> I dropped it on the floor
studied
The 4 hour determination may --> I dropped it on the floor, but
not be significant scooped most of it up
The significance of these --> Look at the pretty artifact
results is unclear
It has not been possible to --> The experiment was negative, but
provide definitive answers at least I can publish the data
somewhere
Correct within an order of --> Wrong
magnitude
It might be argued that --> I have such a good answer for this
objection that I shall now raise it
Much additional work will be --> This paper is not very good, but
required neither are all the others in this miserable field
These investigations proved --> My grant is going to be renewed
highly rewarding
I thank X for assistance --> X did the experiment and Y explained
with the experiments and it to me
Y for useful discussions
on the interperetation of
the data
Physics is like sex: sure, it may give some practical results, but that's not why we do it.
Richard Feynman
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